I started Skyrim again the other day. I hardly touched it before now because I dislike the controls, but I think my mouse was messed up the first time I tried it. It’s a lot more playable now. So, having mostly avoided everything to do with the game somehow, everything is really brand new, and also kind of hilarious.
For instance, I accidentally wandered off the path and so I was poking idly through the forest. I stopped to do something else without pausing the game and came back to wolves attacking me. I run first, but they chase and I give up on that and start retaliating.
I look up and see this dude in a cloak stalking around me with glowing hands. He’s telling me how totally awesome he is (I cannot even conceive of his powers)like a total douchebag while I’m sitting here single-handedly bashing three wolves at once.
Once I finish, the dude is just… standing there. Looking at me. His stance is confrontational and he’s continuing to sing his own praises, but he’s not doing anything, so I figure it’s safe to move on. Well as soon as I turn my back to walk away, THEN magical dillweed starts blasting me. EFF THIS, I say, because there’s a lake nearby, so I just jump in it and swim out a bit to lose him.
It’s dark now, so I start making my way back to the path. I run into a couple more enormous jerks, some haughty sorts that might have been elves, I wasn’t paying attention. As I attempt to talk to them, my mage friend comes RUNNING out of the forest, attacking EVERYBODY. They kill him for me.